Proverbial Truth

"The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil."

 ~Proverbs 19:23~

The Fear of the Lord: Knowing He is boss. Trusting Him absolutely. Believing what He says. Obeying what He commands. Honoring Him in life. Giving Him glory in deeds. Reverencing His name and making it known. Hating what He hates. Loving what He loves. Surrendering everything to Him. Laying down my life, dreams, desires and taking up the ones He has for me. Acknowledging His presence and purpose in everything around me. Seeing with His eyes and responding with His heart. Being quiet. Speaking up. Taking risks. Having dangerous faith. Dying everyday so He might live through me – or rather, I might live through Him.

The fear of the Lord is life.

Satisfaction: a constant state of being filled and fulfilled. Confidence and peace. Worry-free living. Knowing where I’m supposed to be. Doing what I’m supposed to do. Being who I’m meant to be. No wondering. No wandering. No doubt. No regret. No fear.

I will stand tall and walk boldly. I am an ambassador of love and truth and life. I am a carrier of the supernatural. Evil cringes at the sight of me. It cowers in defeat. Aimlessness and frustration have no place in my life. I know my God. I fear Him alone, and I am sure of the good things He has for me. I will abide in His satisfaction. No one and nothing can take it from me. My God is bigger and stronger than the thieves that seek my treasure. They do not stand a chance. No way. No how.

The fear of the Lord is satisfaction.

“The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil.”

Cool Ranch & Greener Grass

I’m not sure what it says about my life (or me, for that matter) that the absolute highlight of my day was stumbling upon this delightful bag.

I just opened it, and I am now savoring each and every little green and red MSG flavor fleck. I am experiencing the “ballistic Doritos crunch as it unleashes an explosion of cool ranch flavor in” my mouth. It’s awesome.

It’s like being home.

Until the bag is gone.

I find myself searching for familiarity a lot these days. Mostly in food… I suppose because it’s the most tangible way to “experience” the familiar. I’m actually texting my roommate right now about all the great import products they have at the Hisense grocery store near the seaside (we cope in similar fashion). I’ve also spent a good deal of time lately taking in episodes of 30 Rock and The Office on DVD, and now with my fancy, outsmart China VPN thing, I can trick the internet into thinking I’m in America and watch anything I want on Hulu! So between Hulu, Facebook, and a Chinese website called, www.youku.com, I can waste tons of time escaping into mindless television shows and movies. Just what I intended for my adventure-of-a-lifetime move to China.

I’m having a little bit of a hard time.

This morning I went to church and I found myself agitated and pouty throughout the entire service. All I could think about was how much I wanted to be at my own church. I thought about how great the services are, and how I could walk through the Courtyard and be stopped at any point by people who love me, and how I never had to sit alone because of my three incredible best friends. I thought of being hug-handled by Mary Ann, watching Joe dance at the door as he welcomes people to service, saying “hello” to Brooks in his walk-by way of saying it, sharing a workspace with Christy and Kristen and having fun visitors (you know who you are) sit on the blue couch to discuss important “work-related” matters, making coffee with Rhonda and learning how to be like her someday when I grow up. I thought about NLMI and Starting Point and worship and communications and being a part of something so authentic and exciting and impacting. And I thought about how I traded all that in for this life I have in China.

Did I do the right thing?

Yes.

Am I doing the right things now?

That’s where I’m unclear.

I know I was supposed to come here. Leaving everyone and everything was not easy (it still isn’t), but I know it’s what God was asking me to do. And I know He was asking me to because it was right in the midst of SO many good things. I wasn’t running away. I liked my life. I was doing something worthwhile and living a pretty great life with amazing friends and family. I was living it up in green pastures… at least that’s how it feels now that I’m on this other patch of grass.

Honest moment: I don’t like teaching English. I’m not very good at it. I feel like I’m an insult to the profession. Real teachers are incredible people with incredible skill who spend time and energy and money refining their craft and using their amazing abilities to impart knowledge. I show up at work, pull a blue folder out of a cabinet and follow an outline to teach people about cooking methods and business telephone etiquette. The blue folder tells me everything I need to know, except how to explain nonexistent grammatical rules and how to define everyday words that, in the moment, seem completely indefinable. I like to write in and speak the English language, not teach it. But here I am in China teaching this strange and complex language six (!) days a week. Did I really sign up for this? Or did I mess something up?

Even telling the Bible stories is proving terribly challenging. The thing about Chinese students is that if they are not impressed or amused by you, they have no problem walking out of your class (if they have the option). The other day my English Corner began with about 12 or 15 students. Slowly they left, one by one, until only four remained. It was SO hard not to take personally. I truly, honestly do not know what to do. I know that I need to spend more time preparing and praying and trusting that the Lord will show up and do something unseen. I guess I just want Him to do something seen. I want the people who give me condescending and “isn’t she so cute for believing that” looks to come face to face with the God they scoff. Not to be put in their place, but so that they can know Him. I don’t want to just tell stories about God. I want to put God on display. I want his love and power to be demonstrated…

“And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs.” Mark 16:20

This is what I want.  But I don’t just want this in the classroom. I want this on the city streets, in my apartment building, on the bus, at the beach, in restaurants and shops and street markets. I want to leave a trail of miracles and hope and life. I want to leave the reality of Jesus with every person I pass.

Unfortunately, I’ve brought a bit of complacency to China with me. I thought it would be easier to be spiritual here, away from everybody and all the things in life that are usually so distracting. Turns out, distractions can present themselves anywhere. And I’m not just talking about 30 Rock and The Office and movies on youku. The real distractions are my own sense of inadequacy and failure, my fear of intimacy and loneliness. My laziness. So rather than face these things and combat them with the truth, I escape into the tidy world of twenty-two minute sitcoms, where bite-sized life problems are easily resolved and wrapped in humor. It’s easier that way. Until I leave my living room and collide with my own reality.

I probably won’t stop watching TV. It’s not the problem – plus it’s funny. But what I need to do is begin to prioritize what is important to me here in China. I need to kick my distractions in the face and stop being a baby. Do I want to go back to America having learned nothing? I can be faced with many lessons and choose not to be shaped by them. Do I want that? Do I want to live here and miss God opportunities because I’m too busy wishing I were back at home languishing in, what appears to be from this view, greener grass?

Why am I here?

What’s it all about?

Am I finally ready to press in and find out, or will I continue to mope and escape and stand around while God is waiting for me to take ground?

“How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your fathers, has given you?” 
Joshua 18:3

The Digs

I’d like to begin by apologizing for leaving you in such suspense.

I’m sure you’ve been waiting, hoping and expecting each day these last two weeks or so to find another update from me that captures the shiny wonder of my new apartment. I will do my best to never fail you in this way again.

Please find below a link to (maybe overly) detailed footage of my new digs. I tried to muster all of my cinematic skills for this shoot. You should feel nauseous. It will enhance the experience.

Enjoy!!

Oh, and you’ll notice that I now have a housemate! I invited my coworker, Kelsey, to come and stay with me for her last two months in China. She is from Michigan and has been in Qingdao since August. Her living arrangements were less than stellar, so I thought she might enjoy living it up with me for her last bit of time here. She is lovely and fun. She likes chocolate, she watches The Office AND she’s already watched the entire second season of Full House on DVD since living with me.

Did I make a good choice? You got it dude!

Facebook Videos

Fabricated Birthdays and Princess Apartments

I am officially 30 years old.

I don’t know how it happened, but according to my mother and the State of Washington and America, it’s true. China doesn’t believe it though. China thinks I am 22… and this is why I love China so very much.

Most of you know that my birthday is on Leap Year, so this year I didn’t have an actual day to mourn the loss of my twenties. It’s always a little bit tricky on birthday “off” years to decide when exactly to celebrate. Usually I opt to occupy both the 28th and the 1st with festivities (or maybe the entire week, depending on how deprived I am feeling). I wasn’t sure how all the celebrating would pan out this year since I’m in a foreign country without all my people to gush and compensate for my lack of a day, but it turned out to be quite lovely.

Side Note: Having a Leap Year birthday is actually pretty awesome. People feel really sorry for you and treat you extra special when your “should be” birthday arrives. I probably shouldn’t tell you this. Oh no… Never mind. Please feel free to continue to feel sorry for me.

On Sunday, the 28th (the first day of my sort-of birthday) I decided to be very brave and venture out, unaccompanied, to the International Church. It’s an English service hosted entirely by foreigners, mostly American. It was SO refreshing. I need church, and I need it in English. I’ve attended Chinese services every Sunday since coming to Qingdao, and while they are perfectly lovely, I cannot understand a lick of what is being said (except for the occasional word here and there). I mostly just feel tired and eager for the service to end when I’m there (I’ll still attend the Chinese church’s Friday night youth service though – they have a great English study that meets every week). The International Church service is very similar to what you’d experience in most churches on any given Sunday – music, message, mingling, etc. I had the opportunity to meet some great people, including three (!) families from the Seattle area! One of which was gracious enough to allow me to crash their lunch plans. This particular family has lived in Qingdao for eight years, they have three very blond, very blue-eyed children (who all speak Chinese), and the husband serves as one of three elders in the fellowship. They were so great! They gave me lots of tips for China living and even ended up being a great connection in my apartment hunt (more on this later).

After lunch, I went back to my hotel. I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that a moonpie might be as close as I would be getting to birthday cake this year. And I was okay with that.

Mostly…











But then my friend called and said that he was on his way to see me. When I opened the door he wished me a Happy “Fabricated” Birthday (because they prefer fabricated over “fake” here) and presented me with dinner and birthday cake, complete with birthday crown and candles!!

(Does that look like the face of a 30 year-old? Come on!!)

It was SO nice!! And to top it off, the 28th marked the end of the Spring Festival, so the sky was lit up with fireworks all night long. I choose to believe they were set in celebration of me and this incredible milestone (sort-of) birthday of mine! Either way, it felt pretty special.

Day two of my birthday meant that I was actually 30 (I don’t become a year older until March 1st on off years). I was surprisingly emotional and had several weepy spells that morning. As if turning 30 isn’t potentially traumatizing enough, let’s try and do it in a foreign country without family and friends. It was a little harder than I thought it would be. But I powered through my morning and made it off to work where I could forget my woes in English grammar (never thought I’d say that). Work was a great distraction, as was the post-work trip to Dairy Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep, that’s right, I said Dairy Queen. Good ole DQ. My co-worker, Kelsey, who is from Michigan, took me there after work to celebrate with Oreo Blizzards. It was awesome. It’s funny how DQ can feel like an old friend when you’re living someplace where familiarity is rare.

Oh, AND the birthday fun will extend even further as I anticipate the arrival of a package from all my favorite people in America. It will be a package bursting with wonderful surprises wrapped in pink polka-dot paper (courtesy of Michelle). I can’t wait!!!

In other news, this week I have been very busy searching for the perfect apartment. I am SO ready to be done living in this hotel. It’s a very nice hotel, but it’s a hotel. It feels transitional. You can’t settle into a hotel… not when you’re anticipating moving any time. I want to feel settled and like I have a place of my own. And, my friends, I think I have found that place!!!

Remember the lovely Seattle family I was telling you about? Well, they connected me with this darling Chinese gal named, Ice (her Chinese name is Bing, which means ice in English), who offered her services in helping me find a suitable apartment. I met with her Wednesday afternoon and we set off together with my friend, Bojun, to see what we could find.

Throughout the course of the afternoon I think we viewed upwards of 15 apartments!!! I tried really hard not to be too picky or to impose my American standard of living on what I saw. Some of the homes were actually very nice, but none of them really stood out as “the one.” A lot of the bathrooms and kitchens seemed dirty and dingy, and some of the homes felt dark or cramped. I obviously don’t need anything huge. I’m going to be living by myself, but I am anticipating a few guests this summer and I’d like to have a nice home to welcome them to. Plus, part of me just wants my home to not feel like China. I hope that’s okay to say. I want my home to be a refuge where I can feel free to be as American as I want. If I can somehow manage that without being pretentious, then that’s what I want.

It wasn’t until we viewed the very last apartment of the day that my hope for this reality came into view. We were all totally wiped out, but decided to look at one last place. It was on the 28th floor of an apartment building located in a courtyard where an outdoor farmer’s market comes and goes everyday. Outwardly the building was very unimpressive, the lobby was dank and dirty, but when we arrived on the 28th floor and the apartment door opened, we were transported to another place - a place where everything was new and shiny and pretty. The apartment was absolutely gorgeous! The whole interior had been completely redone: new floors, fresh paint (green even), new doors, remodeled kitchen, all new furniture and appliances, new tile, new everything! The two bedrooms were bright and spacious (and fully furnished), the kitchen was roomy (by Chinese standards) and the living room area was big enough to have friends over. The wet bathroom provided an actual space to stand while showering and a fancy showerhead that falls directly on you like rain from heaven. Just stunning! Plus, it’s only about a ten-minute walk from my work (all on main roads)! But here’s the real kicker (don’t be jealous)… All of this loveliness could be mine at the (truly) low-low cost of $350 a month!!!

Insanity.

Needless to say, I was ruined for any other apartment. I wanted to take it right then and there, but apparently that isn’t how things roll in China. Ice informed me that it’s standard to wait one or two days before making a decision. So, she arranged for us to view a few more apartments yesterday, which honestly felt rather futile since I had my heart set on the pretty one. But we looked, and I considered a couple of back-ups in case my princess apartment was no longer available.

Home hunting in China is stressful. It overwhelms me. I realized today that I have never had to make this kind of decision on my own. I’ve always lived with other people. It feels like the stakes are increased by ten thousand when I’m making all these kinds of considerations in a foreign country all by myself. I want to live somewhere safe, somewhere convenient and somewhere shiny and pretty. That’s all I ask. And I think that this apartment offers all of these things.

But then enter my friend, Bojun. He is probably the world’s greatest worst-case scenario worrier (that’s why his friends call him Whiskers… anyone?). He likes to use dramatic scare tactics to help me “understand” Chinese culture. When he offers “advice” and things for me to “consider” it usually includes me being crushed in some natural disaster or being robbed or killed or left for dead with no one to help me because I don’t speak Chinese (the latter point being the most frequently emphasized). He will go on and on about these things, but then end the conversation with a supportive, “You have a good brain. You will make a good decision. I only give you things to consider.” Oh gosh, thanks. That’s not stressful at all.

So, here’s how I decided to play this one out. I told the Lord that I really really really really really really wanted the pretty, pretty princess apartment. It just felt like an absolute gift from Him – the kind of place a father prepares for His daughter because He wants the very best for her. It’s like a little Chinese Barbie Dream House, without all the pink and plastic furniture. So I told the Lord that if there was something bad or terrible or unseen about this place, then I needed Him to make it completely unavailable to me. I’m way too sold to be reasonable or rational about it now. So if I shouldn’t move there, then I don’t want it to be an option.

It was an option.

Ice called the agent this morning and we met with her and the landlord, a lovely woman who has a son living in America. The apartment was originally for him and his new wife, but he decided to stay in the U.S. instead of returning to China. She was thrilled at the idea of renting to me because she said it feels like I’ve traded places with her son (basically, she wants to mother me, and I’m totally down with that). So, we met and went over some of the details of the rental agreement. The rent will be paid in three-month increments (which is something I had specifically prayed about since most landlords require an entire year’s rent in advance), and she will pay for my cable and for a thorough deep-cleaning of the apartment before I move in. I’m meeting her at the apartment on Sunday to tell her how I want the furniture arranged (so crazy) and to sign the rental contract.

I’m really excited! This apartment is SO much more than I ever could have imagined finding in China (Jack & Shirl, you will NOT be disappointed). And as far as all of Bojun’s concerns, I honestly don’t believe that the Lord would send me here and then allow me to walk right into danger. I have many lessons to learn in China, but I don’t think that is one of them. And all the terrible things Bojun imagines could happen to me anywhere I live, even at home (minus the not speaking Chinese part). And just in case you need your mind further eased, I did ask my Chinese friend, Deanna, to come along today and her impressions of the neighborhood and the apartment were very good. She did not seemed at all concerned for my safety. Bojun has a history of overreacting to the big decisions I’ve needed to make in China, and after they are made, he usually agrees with me. I’m sure that will be the case with this one too. He’ll learn.

So barring any big huge doors being slammed on the deal, it looks like I’ll be moving in next week!!! Yayayayayay!!!!! I took some pictures, but they really don’t do the apartment justice, at all. As soon as I can, I will shoot a short video tour for everyone to see the beauty. It’s jaw-dropping.

Normal Life

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want people in America to be awake when I get off of work. When did 4AM become too early to start the day and maybe enjoy a lovely Skype chat with a friend and/or family member who is all alone on the other side of the world (feel guilty yet)? I don’t think it has, nor will it ever be. It’s a perfectly and entirely reasonable hour for anyone to begin the day. And besides, I need my people to be available to me no matter what time it is (as long as I’m awake). Especially today…

I am bursting!!!

The day started out with very little motivation. I could barely muster the will to get out of bed this morning. I’ve been exceptionally tired the last few days (thanks to many contributing factors), and have just been feeling really distracted and mope-y and wimpy and like I have no purpose here. What am I doing in China? What was the point in coming here? I thought coming here would make me feel more spiritual and dangerous. But the truth is, I’m just living. I haven’t noticed any heightened awareness of the Divine. No angelic visitations. No voices from heaven. Everything feels so normal. Like I’m just doing here, what I did at home (except for the foreign country part).

But then the Lord shows up and reminds me in His wonderfully inclusive way, what this living in China business is all about.

When I got to work this afternoon, I noticed that I was scheduled for an English Corner Bible Story lesson. Normally I know at least a day or two in advance when I will have one, but today I was not prepared. I didn’t even have my Bible with me! Thankfully, my class load was very light and I had several free hours to plan and prepare for the lesson. This was to be my fourth lesson, so going in order from the beginning I was now at the story of the tower of Babel.

I’ve honestly been feeling a little bit discouraged about the English Corners. The first one was SO great, but the following two just felt kind of awkward and like the students weren’t interested or my heart wasn’t into it. I definitely didn’t feel confident in sharing the stories (Adam & Eve and the fall, and Noah’s Ark), I think because it felt like I was presenting a God who was constantly punishing mankind. “Oops, man messed up again… now God has to do something about it. Sorry guys, no more garden. Curses for you. Great big flood. Everyone dies.” These stories sure seemed a whole lot more chipper when I was a child. Maybe a felt board would help.

I had been asking the Lord if I should start somewhere else, but I never really got a clear sense of where else to go. I just wanted the students to know the end of the story so they could more fully understand God’s heart. The feedback I had been getting up to this point was that “God was afraid of man’s power… or repressing man from being greater than Him… or that it was all just a game to God.” I just wanted to grab people and say, “No! You don’t understand… this is only the beginning! Wait until you hear how He really feels!” All along I’ve been trying to convey the heart behind God’s interactions with man and that He’s not cruel or vengeful, but that He is merciful and just. I’ve tried to help them see His mercy in the midst of what might seem harsh, but when the teacher is struggling to find it (knowing it in my heart, but grappling with it in my head), the students probably won’t be too convinced of its validity.

It’s baffling to me how I can (truly) believe something with all my heart, but shudder at the thought of sharing it for fear of looking silly or like I’ve bought into a Fairy Tale. Really, Jaime? What ridiculous and selfish pride you have. It’s so frustrating. I’m just glad that God chooses to use me in spite of this terrible tendency. And I look forward to the day when it no longer rears its ugly head.

So, today… I decided that rather than just plan to tell the story and let students ask random questions (believe me, they get real random and off topic), I would come up with some discussion questions to go over afterward. This was a very good idea. Telling the story only took about ten minutes (the tower of Babel account is only nine verses long). I had crafted the questions to intentionally lead the students toward questioning the character of God. Questions like, “Why do you think God confused man’s language? Was it cruel or merciful of Him? What does this story tell us about God?” Something else that was different this time was that I didn’t “have all the answers.” I would throw the questions back at the students and when they would express an opinion about God’s “threatened-ness,” I would ask them to expand and explain why they thought that (I think I learned this from watching Joe Slawter – he’s a master at this kind of stuff). This proved to be a really great way to get the students talking and to delve into territory outside the direct story, but still well within the context of God and His character. It was awesome.

Somehow (no doubt by divine providence), the subject of the Trinity came up again. I briefly touched on the three members of the Godhead and listed them on the board. Students seemed to really grasp the roles of the Father and the Holy Spirit, but they struggled with understanding Jesus – who He is and what His “role” in the Godhead is exactly.

Oh! Well, let me tell you!!!!!!!

From that point on, I was able to share the entire Gospel story with the class. The whole thing!!! I talked about the “death” Adam & Eve introduced to mankind and how since then man had been making effort after futile effort to regain relationship with God. I shared about the life and ministry of Jesus. Why God sent Him, what the prophets said about Him, what He did on earth. I told the students how He was perfect and blameless and how He became our sin. Faces were very solemn when I described His arrest and crucifixion – I didn’t spare the gruesome reality of what He suffered. I explained the holiness of God and how Jesus took on the punishment of our sin so that we could approach God and stand blameless before Him. I told them how when He rose on the third day He conquered that same “death” that was imposed upon mankind at the fall. We’ll still die, but we no longer have to be separated from God. I explained salvation and how Christians believe people are saved. I shared the simplicity of “believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth…” Scripture was pouring out of me. It was so incredible. I would have given an altar call if I could’ve!

Every ounce of insecurity went running as I shared. I felt bold and confident and SO completely aware of the Lord’s presence. I wasn’t overly eloquent. I stumbled and stammered my way through the story, but I was certain of what I was saying. I was confident in the truth. I can’t really even explain it… it’s like nothing seemed more believable than what I was saying. I knew it was true and I wanted everyone in that room to know it too!

After I shared about Jesus, one student asked why, if He was perfect and if He was God, didn’t He defend Himself or make them stop. That’s when I got to share about His love; about the “joy set before Him,” and how we were that joy. He didn’t defend Himself, He didn’t make them stop because He wanted us. He wanted relationship with us and He knew the cross was the only way. It was so powerful. Even the students who seemed less than convinced hung their heads in humility. It was all I could do not to cry.

And this, my friends, is why I am in China.

I guess this “normal” life I’m living here isn’t so normal after all – at least not in the conventional way.

“We must redefine ‘normal’ Christianity so it lines up with God’s idea of normal… The normal Christian life begins with the realization that we were put here to do the will of God on earth as it is in heaven – and what joy it is to participate in that.” (from The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind by Bill Johnson)

I think I did a little bit of that today. And the thing about it is, I didn’t feel exceptionally “spiritual” leading up to this incredible hour. I had simply submitted the time to the Lord and asked that He be present. I lent Him my voice and He took care of the rest. I want this to be my normal.

Xīn Nián Hǎo!

Happy Chinese New Year! It’s the Year of the Tiger and I’m really hoping to get one this year! That’s why they give years animal names, you know. So you can meet and adopt them as pets. I’m really glad it’s not the Year of the Snake or Rat. That would be terribly unpleasant.

My friend, Bojun and his mother invited me to spend the first day of Spring Festival with them at their home yesterday. The festivities began at noon, so I made my way there (eggs & milk in hand) ready to see how this important holiday is celebrated. Apparently, it’s primarily celebrated by eating nonstop. From the moment I walked in the door, I had plates and plates of food set before me. It started with dried fruits and nuts of all kinds: pecans, dried dragon’s eye (I was told this was fruit, not real dragon’s eye… but one can’t be too sure), macadamia nuts, sunflower seeds, dried figs soaked in honey, and pumpkin seeds. This was all the precursor to lunch: fried pork, giant shrimp (completely intact), stir-fried veggies, soup, other things I can’t remember, and of course… jiǎozi (gee-ow-dza). Otherwise known as dumplings, jiǎozi is absolutely required for a proper celebration of the Chinese New Year. And it’s so delicious! Bojun’s mother made it from scratch and stuffed each little one full of different meats and vegetables. It was divine.

By Chinese standards I am an incredibly slow eater. This works for and against me on days such as yesterday. Eating slow means I realize when I am full before I’ve absolutely stuffed myself, which is awesome, but it also means (to my Chinese hosts) that I have not eaten enough (a half-full plate of leftover jiǎozi is absolutely unacceptable). If I could just eat really fast and stuff myself before my brain realizes how full I am, then I wouldn’t be forced to eat until I start gagging from fullness (this may have happened yesterday). I honestly think they gauge my appetite by my outward, not inward, size – an unfortunate misconception I often try to combat by using my hands to show how big my “inside” stomach actually is. The fullness and gagging was taken to the next level when the post lunch plates of fresh fruit were served.

Please forgive me in advance for this next little bit of information. I only share this to fully convey my experience yesterday.

Soooo… I’ve been a little bit “stopped-up” lately. Not sure why or what may have caused this problem, but it was the source of much anxiety going into yesterday’s festivities, especially as I anticipated eating a lot of foods that promote regularity. It wouldn’t have been a problem, except that the facilities situation at the Liu residence is less than ideal. At some point during all the food consumption, Bojun informed me that I shouldn’t eat too much (even though he was the one practically force-feeding me) because going #2 would require a special trip to the #2 bathroom. You see, their bathroom is outside next to their house, and it isn’t actually a bathroom. It’s a shower - a tiny little cement shower that you squat down and pee in (which is extra trixy at night when there’s no light to help you see whether you’re peeing on yourself or not). So had I needed to go “big potty” it would have necessitated Bojun escorting me to the “special” bathroom in the main house, or to the 4-star hotel down the street.
Nothing like discretion.

Thankfully, my fervent and effective prayers spared me. I did not have to take any special trips nor did I experience any painful side effects from yesterday’s mass consumption. I literally ate for eight hours straight. After the fruit plates, the dried fruit and nuts were reintroduced … and then came dinner with it’s succession of courses. Not to mention all the tea and milk and juice.

Overall, the day was really enjoyable. The hospitality extended to me was exceptional, and at times a little bit awkward. Bojun’s house is small… just one room with a kitchen, and a little loft that you get to by climbing up a bamboo ladder through a hole in the ceiling. The “living” room doubles as Bojun’s bedroom, so his bed is right in the middle of everything. By late afternoon, he and his mother were insistent that I take a nap. I really didn’t want to. His mom kept making up the bed and telling me to lay in it, so rather than fully lay down I’d go and sit-lay… this went on for a couple of hours. Finally, I gave in. I didn’t nap or fully recline, but I “cozied” in a bit more, which gave Bojun’s mother the go-ahead to tuck me in. She grabbed a blanket, tucked me in tightly and threw a hot water bottle in under the covers to make sure I’d stay warm (I actually really liked that). It felt very odd to be sit-laying in someone’s bed right in the middle of their living room. I felt like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Except I was the only one in bed.

I was surprisingly emotional yesterday and at points I really, really just wanted to go home – not to my hotel. Home to America. To the familiar and comfortable where I’m known and understood (both as a person and when I speak), where someone will understand why I think something is funny without having to explain it, where I can have a normal flavored potato chip (not kiwi or shrimp), where I can fully express my thoughts and opinions in unbroken English. I can’t really even tell you where it all came from. My hosts were lovely and inclusive and hospitable. Maybe it was just watching their family dynamic and realizing how much I miss my own. I don’t know…

It got better when we all gathered (around the bed with me in it) to watch the national New Year’s production they do every year in Beijing. It was so fun! The production is four hours long leading up to midnight and includes performances of all kinds: dance, song, comedy, magic, drama. Bojun interpreted enough of what was happening so I could keep up (at least for the speaking acts). The night ended with an invitation for me to spend the night (which I politely declined) and a shared cab ride back to my hotel. But not before Bojun’s mother whipped out a measuring tape and began taking my measurements (over my puffy winter coat)!!! I do not know why or what for, and I couldn’t ask her because she doesn’t speak English. So who knows what I might be receiving! A tiger costume to ring in the New Year?

I hope so.

Bravery & Odd Parts

I can’t write and listen to music. Does anyone else have that problem? I’ve been sitting here for about a half hour trying to think of a good way to begin this entry and I like to think that I’m much more quick-witted than that. So I choose to blame this music that keeps carrying me away into deep thought… and the mirror directly in front of me that I keep staring at myself in. I don’t think one realizes their own narcissistic tendencies until they’re placed in front of a mirror for an extended period of time.

By the way, I’m having a really good hair day.

It’s been a long week in contrast to the others I’ve spent in China so far. I worked five whole days, which is one day more than I have consistently worked for the last several years of my life. I like to overachieve when it comes to keeping the Sabbath. My week consisted of 24 English classes, 2 English Corners, 12 bus rides, 3 taxi rides, 3 trips to Carrefour (a magical French Walmart), 1 trip to KFC (terrible, terrible choice), and several interesting food encounters.

I know it seems that most of my “adventures & observations” have been centered around food, and it’s true - they have. That’s because, second to the language, I think cuisine might be the most contrasted cultural element between China & America (or maybe just between China & Jaime… I’m not sure yet). I keep telling my Chinese friends that in the U.S. we really only eat the meat (as opposed to every part) of the animal. And every time I see a soup with all the chicken parts in it, I can’t help but think how incredibly resourceful these people are (after I get over the shock of seeing a chicken head in my bowl). They really don’t waste a thing. I had dinner at a girl’s house last week and her mother made fish. She showed me how if you dry out the fish lung it’s a really healthy and delicious jerky. Mmmm. Fish lung. It’s just nothing I would ever think of eating. I was walking around the wonderland of Carrefour (which is the #2 retailer in the world after Walmart) last night and encountered a butcher’s table with pig feet, thigh, tongue, nose, liver, intestine, stomach and heart all laid out (my high school biology teacher would have been proud of my ability to identify all these parts). It’s just SO different. I try not to react outwardly to the way I feel inside when I see all these parts, “Sick.” I don’t necessarily think we do it better or right in the U.S., I’m just not used to it. So when I see my friend feel a little self-conscious about the way they eat, I always try and make sure to emphasize that it’s just different. It will take time for my taste (and gag reflex) to adjust to the Chinese way. But I will be so brave in the meantime.

Speaking of bravery and eating odd parts… I ate cow stomach the other day. Sometimes your friend tells you that the meat in your soup is “beef” and then after you eat it, has you guess which part of the cow it is. I do not like this game. Mostly because I usually don’t know we’re playing until the bite is working its way down my throat. This also happened with chicken heart, jellyfish and cow tongue. You’d think I would have learned by now.

Not all of my food encounters have been so stretching. Today I had hot pot! I thought of Rosemary Jones the entire time and how much she would have enjoyed such an authentic hot pot experience. It was so great! Hot pot is basically a pot of boiling water with spices that you add all sorts of fun things to.

We had mutton, beef, three kinds of tofu (which was so super delicious), crazy mushrooms that I’ve never seen before, seaweed, cabbage, spinach and some other kind of leafy green. Everything they give you is raw and you put into the big “hot pot” in the middle of your table and wait for it to cook. Then you just grab it out with your chopsticks and dip it into this really great peanut sauce. So good!

But I think the best part about the entire experience was discovering that the key ingredient for making heroine was one of the spices flavoring our hot pot.

Hello, Mr. Opium! Thank you for coming to our hot pot party. How crazy! Unless I’m super naïve and it isn’t unusual to see opium poppy used as a spice for cooking. Please tell me if I’m thinking that this is way more shocking than it should be. My friend told me that it is also often used in traditional Chinese medicine, but only in small doses. She also cautioned me against eating it – which was actually really good because I did end up crunching into some other inedible spice by mistake. China is enough of a trip without an accidental high.

In other news, Qingdao is experiencing record low temperatures right now. It is SOOOOOO cold.

I woke up yesterday morning to about six inches of snow! With the wind-chill coming in off the Yellow Sea, it feels like 14˚F outside… and that’s in the middle of the day! Bundling to the utmost is absolutely necessary, and yesterday it provided me with the added bonus of some much needed anonymity. All you could really see was my nose and it was just as red as everyone else’s. And I LOVE not having to worry about driving in this weather! The public transportation here is well equipped to handle the conditions and all I need to worry about is not falling on the ice when I walk to the bus stop. However, the busses are pure insanity. Yesterday on my way to work the bus was so crowded that I had to climb over a seat and lower myself down to the door in order to get off at my stop. It was awesome.

You know what else is awesome? Gift shopping in China. After our hot pot lunch, my friend took me to the store to pick up some gifts to bring to the family that’s having me over to celebrate Spring Festival. I asked her for some good gift ideas and these were her suggestions: eggs & milk. She said that these two things were very fashionable and practical gifts in China. I feel a little bit silly because it would be so strange to give someone 40 eggs & a huge case of milk for Christmas, but it’s a great gift here. And so affordable. I hope to bring this fashionable trend home with me to America. Merry Christmas everyone!

You’re welcome.